Thank you for all your prayers...

I forget that this was a regular feeling for me when I was going through school. I always felt anxious and inadequate, etc, etc. It wasn't until I worked at Open Door that my life changed completely as I realized that I would never feel adequate in this world, because I wasn't made for here. What a freeing feeling actually - to realize that your worth would NEVER be determined by the expectations of bosses, corporations, letter grades, and capacity. At this same time of enlightenment I also moved on from community college to massage school. Massage school is really a horse of a different color and now that I have worked there for over 2 1/2 years, the intimidation is completely gone (plus there was hardly any homework and tests were cake). But university that is scary and all the feelings of fear and inadequacy and basically anxiety of the unknown have come flooding back and while they have made my heart skip a beat every so often and hyperventilate, they seem to be old friends back for a visit... the kind of friends that you dread them coming and hide all the nice things in your house because they'll invariably destroy them. So, yeah, this I guess is the other side of the coin that comes with higher education and the opportunity to study something I love, possibly study in england, and complete a bachelor's degree (which just the thought of makes my heart leap for joy). My question is will this be the next 2 years of my life... or is it really directly related to Spanish 202 (which the thought of makes me want to throw up a little bit in my mouth). I don't know... I guess I'll be needing continual prayer. John spoke a couple weeks ago on "Leaning on your own understanding" and something struck me in his message (kind of like someone throwing a brick at my forehead). He said that in all of Job's suffering, Job really didn't want to know the reason or the purpose for all that he went through... he only wanted to know God was there, and that he loved Job, all Job wanted was his presence. That's all I want - is to feel the presence of the one who holds all things in his hand. I just want my Savior to be with me. So if you need a specific prayer on my behalf, it is that - that I would feel Jesus.



So my coping mechanism for all this? My dad. Haha, I mean my actual dad - Randy Thompson. I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but I have the best dad in the ENTIRE world. Not just because he is one of my very good friends who I can share my heart with and talk to... etc etc, but also because he is an incredibly talented guy. Whenever I am feeling incredibly desperate in life the song I turn to time and time again is All I Ever Wanted by my dad. I also have been repeating Ears to Hear and If You Can Hear Me Now (which is the story of my life right now). So now I have his entire anthology on shuffle throughout my apartment as I blog and clean. I just marvel at his lyrics... what an amazing writer. Maybe it's because I am his daughter and grew up with the way he words things and therefore have adopted them as my own, but it seems that his songs speak on a level that is right with my soul. Some samplings of lyrics that grab my heart:

"Jesus, I don't know what to say
I only wish that You were here now
To look into my eyes
And separate the truth from the lies
Like You've done so many times before
O Lord please hear my prayer
I need to know You're there
For I can't live without You"

"It used to make me cry
I used to never wonder why
It used to fill my life with so much passion
And all the treasures this life brings
I'd trade it all for just one thing
'Cause all I've ever really wanted was Jesus"

"I want to go with You wherever You may go
I want to have the courage Lord to follow
No matter what the cost I want to spend it all in serving You
Knowing that it’s not what I may give up
It’s not what I may loose along the way
Lord it’s true I want to know You"

and the Entire song, Once Upon a Cross - truly the most beautifully written song I have ever heard
"Jesus was a humble man a carpenter by trade
But there was something special about everything he made
Once upon a cross He carved a picture of the price
That it costs to be a carpenter and love what He had made
The scars in the hands of the sculptor are the price that must be paid

Jesus was so in love with everything He touched
His life was the only worthy gift for a world He loved so much

Jesus was a sailor and He walked upon the sea
Stood among the wind and waves that roared so angrily
Jesus called the fishermen to leave their nets behind
And search for the souls of men instead in the midst of an angry sea
Lift them from their worldliness and teach them to be free

Jesus stood among the waves and shouted to the shore
Can you hear Him calling anymore?

And it seems to me fools we'd be
To deny His everlasting love, turn our backs and just
Walk away from the gift He gave
When we were so hopelessly bound in sin
And only the love of Jesus could pay the price
Jesus was the final sacrifice

Jesus was an artist and He painted with His blood
A picture of the price of sin and love the final flood
To wash away the emptiness that stained their weary souls
Gives answers to the questions and reason to our rhyme
Only those who refuse to see are ever truly blind

Jesus rose above it all a moment before He died
Looked out on a weary world
And Jesus cried"

*** The picture of my dad and I is my very favorite ***

Can't sleep

need prayer... my heart is so anxious. The thought of going back to school, working, my future, relationships, etc etc... everything is making me so anxious. Granted it's one in the morning, and so a lot of it may have to do with being overly tired... but right now I am over-thinking everything. Please pray for me. I long for peace and contentment and I long to feel the presence of my Savior next to me. Just pray.

Miranda 1 Squaw Peak 1

Last night I hiked up Squaw Peak (or Piestewa Peak if you embraced the name change a couple years ago... I don't). It is pretty much a mile hike up stairs. Why did I do such a thing? peer pressure. I went with a bunch of my new friends from Grace Bible Church, who I know through my life long friend Kendra. Now, I am not a hiker... nope not at all. And when I was told we were hiking up Squaw Peak of all mountains, I was not hopeful I would see the top. Years and years ago when my cousins Aaron and Noel were visiting my mom thought we would all love a nice Arizona hike. I was around 10 years old and a bit of a drama queen so I didn't make it to the top and completely gave up half way. My cousin Noel on the other hand if I remember correctly basically ran all the way to the top and them back down to meet us and ran back up again... Squaw Peak won that round. But last night I brought my A-game. I was determined not to give in to the Mountain. It would be conquered. I actually yelled that at the mountain a couple times with my friend Betty. I was the last person up to the top and man was it worth it. We hiked up at night after the sun was completely down (remember a flash light next time Miranda). So when we reached the top you could see almost a 360 of the entire city... it was really amazing (and windy). But up to the north you could also see a wonderful Arizona dust storm rolling over that part of the city - lightening and everything. If it had not been so cloudy we probably would have seen more stars. It was truly worth the trek and I'm glad I didn't give up although for the last 20 minutes of the hike I don't think there was any blood reaching my legs.
The way down was way easier... aside from concentrating quite hard on not rolling my ankle and not missing a step. It was also made easier with good conversation with new friend Danny (who had a flashlight, thank you). We all went back to one of the guy's house and swam (my body gave up when I hit the livingroom couch, so swimming was not for me, but I watched and stayed in the activities). Didn't get home till 3am, but over all it was an amazingly conquering experience... who knows maybe I'll hike more. I'm sorry could any of you read that without laughing... yeah, me neither.

Dave & Buster's fun...

It is now tradition at my work to go to Dave & Buster's after a class graduation ceremony. It's every 10 weeks and it is now a the most look forward to event amongst the instructors. For those of you who don't know, Dave & Buster's is an arcade meets chucky cheese meets... well... a bar & restaurant. Well, all except the ball pit. It has also become tradition that the graduating students crash our party and we all hang out. It is really fun. Basically it's just awesome for my work friends and I to all get away from the office and have fun in a more casual environment. It was MOST needed after the week I've endured.

What next...?

You would not believe the week I've had. First off my job situation, which I thought was decided two weeks ago, turns out was not decided at all. There were serious communication issues, but it is all resolved now for the most part. If you want a fair dose of righteous anger, please ask the details.

I also spent the whole of last night after getting home from work in complete darkness. A huge storm rolled through Phoenix starting at around 8pm and @ 9:30 the lights went out in the apartment. I didn't get home until around 10:30, but the power was till out down the entire street. My roommate had jumped ship to her parents house before I got home, so I was alone. Didn't think much of the lights being off seeming as I was headed straight for bed. So I showered my flashlight and then stretched out in bed. Granted the apartment was warm for not having air conditioning for over an hour, but I didn't mind the temp... it wasn't that bad. I fell asleep around 11:30pm and fell asleep easily enought... BUT I woke up again at 1:45am completely awake a ready for the day (too bad it was still 5 hours of night-time away. Ugh. I could not fall back asleep... by then it was warmer, the power was still not on and with the complete lack of airflow and deafening silence I could not get comfortable... I also want to take this time to tell you that my bed squeaks. I dozed every few minutes or so into 30 seconds of "sleep" and during one of those "sleep moments" the power sprung to life all over my apartment. It was 3:30am and besides the lights coming on, the fire alarm beeped three times which seriously stopped my heart and took time off my life expectancy. So I was again more than awake... now out of fear. I was awake trying to get my internet to work (of course post power coming on), reading, stretching, staring at my air vent, praying, praying for sleep, etc... all this until 5AM!!! FINALLY I fell asleep until 7:30am when I got up for work.
Surprisingly, I am not tired yet... totally awake. Maybe I need to have insomnia more often.

That's all I got... between crazy work drama and power outage that is my life.

Videos of Mr. Mayer

finally got these uploaded from my camera... enjoy

Free Falling


Say

2 concerts in 2 weeks

John Mayer was PHENOMENAL!!! He is seriously such a talented, amazing musician and his concert was so enjoyable. He didn't do a lot of talking, her seriously just played and played music. His encore was 5 songs long!! I loved it. I also loved that he didn't play a lot of his overly pop-y songs like "Your Body is a Wonderland." (thank you John). He ripped on his guitar as one point playing it with a drum stick - genius. His first song of the encore was him playing the guitar and drums at the same time. What a show!! I really had a great time. I have to confess I was not a rabid John Mayer fan, feeling his songs were too over-played. But Shawn convinced me, along with John Mayer LIve DVD, that he is actually an incredible guitarist and overall spectacular musician. After seeing him last night it was most definitely confirmed. Seriously amazing.
Colbie Caillat opened for him and was also really good (song-wise) as for her stage presence - it was lacking. She still needs to figure out what to do with herself. But I like her as a song writer. Enjoy the pics.









Also, 2 weeks ago I went to the Joshua Radin concert. He was wonderful too. I love his music and this was my second time seeing him. He played at The Clubhouse which is seriously right behind my apartment, so I walked there. It's a small venue so we got a great spot right in his eyeline. I am not gonna lie, I think he was looking at me while he was singing. Then for his encore he came out into the audience with just his guitar and sang an old Bob Dylan song (the first song he ever learned to play). Well when he jumped off stage he headed straight for me!!! He sang his encore standing directly in front of me. He looked around of course at the other fans, but I seriously felt like it was just he and I in a private little concert. Be still my beating heart. Loved it.

two things before I get to work...

1.) you should check out my friend Teresa's blog. She just started it two days ago. I just got back from San Diego with her and her adorable kids who I have gotten the privilege to love as their nanny and now their friend. I love Teresa and her family so much. You have no idea what a blessing they are to have in my life. I also went with Teresa to Disneyland back in may. So yeah check it out... she's awesome.

2.) I am going to John Mayer tonight!!! Kendra called and her group of friends had an extra ticket, so I jumped at the chance!!! YAY!! He is coming with Colby Caillat, so it should be a rockin' concert! I'll definitely take pictures of the awesomeness... I hear our seats are pretty close, so I am sure to enjoy myself.

Victory is mine...

I am so good at this textbook hunting. I suck at applying for college and getting scholarships, but textbook deal hunting... that I know. I guess you could say I was raised with awesome bargain hunting skills - having the queen of bargains as a mother and all.

Anyway I went to Bookmans today (used bookstore for those of you outside AZ), and I found 5 books that I needed for school all for $28!! Score... I am awesome. Textbook bargain hunting should be my new profession. Actually the books are not textbooks... they are novels for my World of King Arthur class. But the sales clerk I just happened to ask has a passion for Arthurian Literature and he knew where everything was and led me around the whole store to find my books... so thanksful. thursday or friday I think I'll trek out to Phoenix Bookmans to look for my remaining books. The rest I'll get on Amazon.

ASU books

so I am full on ASU planning... super fun. I still need to set up financial aid student loan. Then I need to see about a possible scholarship I was looking into (the deadline passed, but I still want to call and see if grace can be given). Then I need my books. I looked at the ASU bookstore online and the books (when all added up) are EXPENSIVE... seriously looking at $500 for all these books. Luckily, I'm a clever girl and I looked on Amazon and found them all way cheaper - most are at least half the price, and some (especially from my "World of King Arthur" class) are only $.88, because their old Arthurian novels. SCORE!! I am still gonna see about Bookmans for the novels and hopefully get some good deals, but I am still excited to have brought the total down to within the $200 range. Books are expensive.

I am really nervous though about my Spanish 202 class. I hope the professors easy and I think I'm just gonna tell him/her that I only need the class for credit and I need to pass (just pass). Hopefully he/she will be forgiving. It's been 3 years since i have been in a spanish class. I think in order to prepare I'm gonna watch one movie a weekend in Spanish (a movie I know, so I can pick up the dialogue). That sounds like a good idea right.

I saw Mamma Mia a couple weekends ago and I just have say how much I loved it. I think I'm gonna see it again this week some time with my old boss Latoya and friend Jason from work. I have been listening to CD the last couple of days and just think it is so much fun. Granted, Pierce Brosnan's voice is terrible, it is still a great CD. The movie (besides making me want to sing ABBA all day) really made me want to go to Greece. Especially the Islands. What a beautiful part of the world.


I think I will have to do a vacation to Greece sometime in my life (maybe throw Egypt in there as well - they're close.

My brother is awesome!!

you have to check out Shawn's blog!! A big day happened in his life and the life of his daughter... check it out!! Be prepared to laugh hysterically.

My friend Jeannette...

Went to a baby shower today for my dear friend Jeannette who is due in September with her first baby. It's a girl!! She won't tell us the name they have picked out, but we'll find out soon enough.

Sadly enough, Jeannette broke her ankle a couple weeks ago. So she is in a cast and wheel-chaired her way around the party. She was beautiful all the same and it was such a lovely party. Baby girl Schneider is already one spoiled little girl. Here are some pics:






Check out Jeannette's new blog!!

Where do I begin...

Alright... I know I have been a terrible person!! I have completely neglected the blog and for that I don't expect you to quickly forgive me.

Let me bring you up to speed... first off, I have moved. It was a lot of work but I am comfortably tuck in on my couch in my new living room. I really am loving being in Tempe. I am close to work, I will be close to school when it starts. It's all great!! I also have a roommate. He name is Emily and she is so awesome! I will have to do a complete post all about her... sorry I don't have any pictures of her yet... you'll have to wait yet again.

Aside from moving I also went 3/4 time at work. It is on a trial basis this next quarter, which is a good thing because who knows how everything will go down with school and working 30hrs a week. I am excited though to have a steady income still. I also will still have my weekends free for homework and a life. I just found out this last thursday so it is all still new and relieving to know I have a job.

Speaking of the last couple days I have been in San Diego with Teresa, SImon, and Addy! It was a great vacation and very relaxing! I did get a little sunburn as the pictures will reveal, but they have already tanned out in a day. Here are some pictures:

I was tagged...

Sorry for the delay in posting... I have been packing and moving and although I do have some pics and stories to share, I have little time to do them. If you're lucky, maybe later today I'll find a moment.

But I was tagged by Kerri do fill out a mini questionnaire... and since I am not meeting with Nicole Hunter for another 20min I fingure I'll try to get a chunk done.

1. What did you do 10 years ago?

ten years ago, I was 13!! On July 2nd, I was probably in the throws of my active summer (seriously I have no idea what I did with myself during the summers before a job and work crews etc). It was the summer between my 7th and 8th grade year. I was probably in Wisconsin with the family. I love wisconsin and have sadly not been there for 3years. I want to visit very soon, but I am not thinking I will until probably later NEXT year.

2. Five items on your to-do list today:

1. Meet with Nicole Hunter
2. Help mom load up my couch and some other furniture to go to my new apartment
3. Lunch with Nicole Thompson and Emy
4. Go over to new apartment and hopefully take more full boxes with me
5. Go to work from 6pm - 11pm... yeah I know..

3. Snacks I enjoy:

Oh, I like this question because I am definitely a snack person!!! I LOVE sunflower seeds. My roommate does too and therefore we will be consistently well stocked! I also like chips and Pace salsa (blended, I don't enjoy biting into a onion chunk. Then there is ice cream - phish food is in my fridge right now. And I LOVE white cheddar popcorn!

4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?

This is another awesome question that I think about all the time, although I know I'll NEVER be a billionaire. First I would pay off my debt to school and car. I would travel around the world for an indefinite amount of time and see EVERYTHING - seriously EVERYTHING. I'd also donate to ODF so they could have a building - not anonymously though like Kerri - I like people to know how generous I am - haha j/k. Then I'd buy a nice house along Central and Glendale/Northern area (I love those houses). And I'd just travel and travel and travel and not have to work a day in my life because the interest alone will keep me quite comfortable.

Lack of photos

I missed church today... I am about 30min late and so now it isn't worth going. I really wanted to go, but alas I slept in too long and then took too long to get ready to go. It'll be even harder when I live in phoenix and will have a 30min drive instead of a 5min drive.

Went out dancing last night with my friend Marie and her husband. It was really fun. And Marie talked me into Karaoke... which I think I did terrible at, but marie said I was fine. I pulled out the old "Let's Hear It For The Boy". I couldn't hear myself on stage so I know I was pretty off key. It was lame... Karaoke is not my thing.

I have no pictures to share with you... nothing I have done in the last couple of weeks merits photography. I could just take random photos of myself or my apartment, but you've seen it all before :)
I think I may have to plan a "Random Picture Day" with some friends. I use to do this in high school when I needed to finish off a roll of film (remember film, haha). So I think I'm gonna get some friends together and have a photo shoot in a park or target (the target pictures are fun, because you get props). Anyway... hopefully if I do that soon, you'll have pictures to enjoy.

Because Amy knows me so well...

I have discovered that there is a website that sheds insight into my life... it is genius. Check out some links

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/28/77-musical-comedy/

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/24/74-oscar-parties/

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/22/72-study-abroad/


Be fully expecting the study abroad conversations to ensue when I return from England... I will be so much more cultured than all of you... :)

Tales from a converted Eco-friendly tree hugger...

okay, so I don't hug trees... well, not regularly ;) But I am trying to be better to the earth - not that the earth has been all that friendly to me (it's 110 degrees outside today and I feel like my blood vessels are going to explode from over heating). Anyway, every time I go shopping my heart sinks with the thought of getting 50,000 more plastic bags to store in my pantry until I re-use them or get to a recycling bin. So next to the cash register I picked up some re-usable grocery bags... and I felt so proud of myself for being so "green". I even fit ALL of my groceries into just two bags because their so spacious. It was great to not have 1,000 plastic bags to spread out over my back seat. I just felt so good about myself :)

Aside from that, I am just trying to clean my apartment... I can't seem to get into the groove of organizing and cleaning. I'll sometimes have this surge of cleanliness and I'll clean until this place could be shown in a magazine... but on days like today (I'm blaming the heat) I can seem to get up the energy.

I am still very indecisive about college prospects in England... and very disappointed in Financial Aid prospects.

Also here are some pictures of our "Halloween in June/Friday the 13th Pool Party" put on by the college group :)

Clark as a guys from the discovery channel show - deadliest catch
Nicole as a cowgirl, Emolyn as a baby
Tyler was Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt in Fight Club)... I did the eye make-up. Ben was not dressed up
I styled myself after Rachel McAdams from The Notebook... Meredith was Superman (the t-shirt)
Shawn was "a guy who shops at Metro Center" and again Emolyn as a baby

Bailey the Lynch's dog... she posed for the camera - dead serious.
Rebekah and I
Joel with our Pirate ship Pinata
Our Pinata prizes... reminded me of the rewards you got from the dentist

Apartment!!!

I found one!!!! YAY... it's on rural and broadway in an apartment complex called Desert Palm Village Apartments. It is a really great place, close to ASU and close to work... it is far from church, but the freeway is close. I signed all the papers and put down a deposit, so everything is pretty much a go! yippie. I am moving in two weeks though, and I need help loading and unloading... so anyone interested :) I am sad to be leaving my apartment, but at the same time I know it's gonna be a good thing for me in this season.

Also in other news... Paul Newman is sick (possibly). For those of you who don't know, I have this incredible crush on Paul Newman - okay, not him NOW when he's old and everything, but if you've ever seen Cat on a Hot Tin Roof or Long Hot Summer you should understand my love. I will be so sad when he passes away... he was such a great man and he has been married to Joanne Woodward for 50 years which is absolutely UNHEARD of in hollywood history... what a legacy.

Anyways, that is what's new :)

Apartment hunting...

So I am moving back to Tempe... at least until I'm done with College in two years. I figure with me driving out there so much now with school, the fact that I'll be working in that part of town still... the fact that I will be making significantly less money by not working as an instructor, and gas prices are over $4 a gallon, I figured it was in my best interest to move to Tempe and cut down on gas and drive time and get a roommate to cut down on rent. I am nervous about it all, but really see the benefit of it all. At the same time, I have discovered just how blessed I have been over the last 2 years to be working at such a well paid job and over the last year and a half to be living in such an INCREDIBLE apartment. I am seriously having the hardest time finding a suitable apartment in Tempe that won't take my arm and leg and raise my risk of being murdered or raped... crazy. The thing that is really making it all difficult is that I can't sign a lease for longer than 6 months. I am still hoping to be in England in January and so I don't want the complication of getting out of a lease with everything else. I also found such a great roommate :) Emily is a friend of Kendra's and goes to her church. I really do think this'll be a great experience for the next 6 months.

BUT please pray that I find an apartment... and soon!!! 6 months starts July 1st