Why can't papers merely write themselves?

This is a question that has been plaguing me for a week now. I am a wonderful paper writer! I really am quite good. My favorite part is the introduction to a paper because I really give myself free reign with my opinion and wording... and yet I have absolutely NO, Zero, ziltch, nada, less than none interest in writing my papers!!! I have until next tuesday to finish two essays for two different classes and I cannot seem to get any sort of rhythm down. So why is it that no one has invented something to write papers for you??? My first paper deals with Britain's leisure activities during the interwar period. I have to write about the rise of leisure and how different classes were drawn to different activities and then explore how those classes shaped said leisure activities and in turn for the leisure activities shaped those classes.
My second paper is for my Middle Ages class and I have to discuss why I believe the Fransiscan order gained such a following and became so popular during this period in history. I actually think this second paper will be much easier to write, but I want to write neither. Instead, I want to sleep... or read a book... or go to a movie... or sit a stare at the paint peeling off my wall... or ANYTHING ELSE but write these papers.
You know what it is? It's the fact that they each have to be somewhere around 6 pages... I don't have 6 pages worth of information to impart about either of these subjects!! It's also that I couldn't care less about these topics. It's because I am in England and I don't want to be in the classroom.

Phoebe and I decided we had had enough of Founder's Dining hall food tonight and we set out in search of alternative grub. Turns out there is none. All the other restaurants are closed by 5:30pm and the other dining hall on campus was equally gross in it's food selection. So we walked down to Egham high street to the tescos in hopes they would have decent sushi. I have been craving sushi ALL DAY! We found sushi... it was grocery store sushi, which is waxy and questionable, but it was better than the incredibly heavy carb filled meat and potatoes they have served us EVERY NIGHT in Founder's since we arrived here. So we bought the sushi and I bought soy sauce and we went to town... it was LOVELY. The sushi was by no means good sushi as I have had before, but it was edible and definitely hit the spot!! I have also taken to buying an ice cream treat from the college shop every night since thursday... I consider it comfort food for myself. Tonight was no different, so I finished off my dinner with an ice cream snickers bar. Heaven.