Theodore Lewis Lee Mertz (A Birth Story)...

 Here I am… writing my LAST birth story! 

Theodore Lewis Lee Mertz arrived January 20th, 2023 at 8:44am weighing in at 8 lbs 4 oz and 21” long!

Writing out my kids’ birth stories is one of my favorite things to do. I love trying to remember random details that I can go back and read through when I has forgotten them. Before Theo arrived, I actually read through Will, Cora, and Hazel’s birth stories trying to remember which details belonged to which child. It was wild some of the things I had forgotten and I am so thankful I have them to read back through in years to come. Hopefully each of the kids will appreciate reading how they came into this world too someday.

If you want to read through my past stories, you can follow the links:

Will’s Birth story (this one is EPIC, but trigger warning about traumatic birth)

Cora’s Birth Story

Hazel’s Birth Story (trigger warning because I talk about miscarriage)

This pregnancy was such a sweet gift and pretty early on, I was convinced that this would be my last pregnancy. I have NO DESIRE to have more than 4 kids, but you never know what God is going to put on your heart, and I was open to His desires for our family. In many moments along this pregnancy and birth journey, God confirmed in my heart that I am done! One confirmation was that this was a largely easy pregnancy! At least compared to my last two pregnancies - I had less morning sickness, less aches and pains, and also less anxiety, which was a huge gift. We had a scare in the first trimester where I had a small subchorionic hemorrhage with some spotting, but even during that I feel like I had more peace than fear that we were gonna be ok. Also finding out we were having a boy was another confirmation because my dream had always been to have two boys and two girls and I felt that my bookend boys made our family feel so complete. Then as the last month of pregnancy came and all the discomfort, bad sleep, aching back and joint, and intense braxton hicks… it made me really settle with the fact that I had NO DESIRE to ever be pregnant again.

Through the whole pregnancy it really was so good for me to have the mindset that this was the last pregnancy, because I felt more able to work through the harder and more annoying parts of pregnancy and have the perspective that this was the last time I would ever do this and I wanted to savor what I could and persevere through what seemed daunting. As the end of my pregnancy approached I was ready for his arrival. Both Cora and Hazel came 3 weeks and 2 weeks early respectively, so my Dr and I were convinced we wouldn’t make it until my scheduled c-section. When we discussed the day it would be scheduled Dr. Schwartz actually said “We’ll schedule your c-section just for fun, but I’ll see you at the hospital before then!” haha.

I was 35 weeks on New Years Day and I felt like that was when I started feeling like it could be any day now. I of course didn’t want him to come THAT early, but I felt the urgency to make sure we had everything we needed/wanted to have done before his arrival. We took down Christmas, painted his nursery, put together his crib. I actually packed my hospital bag at 32 weeks because I just needed to know it was ready. Each of my past labors got faster and faster and so I was anxious this one would be even crazy faster and I would risk being fully 10cm when I got to the hospital and miss my c-section window.

As 37 weeks approached I was even more on alert for going into labor. I paid attention to the marker days for when Cora arrived and Hazel arrived, and Cora’s day was 37 weeks and 1 day. I was having regular braxton hicks contractions, but nothing that intensified or stayed regular for longer than an hour. But my Dr. again confirmed that it could be any time. At my 37 week appt, I was just over 1 cm dilated, but that didn’t mean anything with how quickly I could progress. Aaron particularly was hoping I could go as long as I could since he had work stuff that he didn’t want to skip out on for paternity leave. So I took it very easy and when he was home he refused to let me lift a finger.

Now of course I was prepared that this labor could be entirely different than my last. Maybe I would have contractions before my water broke. Maybe my water would break in the middle of the day instead of the middle of the night like the others. Maybe I wouldn’t give birth on a Wednesday like I did with my other 3. Maybe I would make it all the way to 39 weeks and walk into the hospital labor free for my surgery! I had a plan for all instances. 

Thursday evening we went to bed and I got up several times in the night to use the bathroom and as always wondered if my water would break… but sure enough I woke up at 6am and nothing had happened! I got up to start getting ready for the day and when went to the bathroom sure enough my water broke!! I even felt the bubbly pop! Of course I sat there for a bit, not sure if what I felt was real. I waited for a contraction just like my previous labors, but none came. So I decided to go lay down again and see if anything else happened. But as I walked back to the bed, I felt more water and knew this was it! I quickly woke up Aaron and told him it was time! We were both so thankful we had had a full night of sleep! Aaron immediately called his parents and I started gathering up the last minute hospital bag things and changing clothes. Aaron’s parents arrive about 40 min later, and at that point I had only had 2 contractions and while I could tell they were real labor contractions, they weren’t super painful and about 12 - 15 min apart.

I figured since contractions were slow to begin this labor would go slower than the others, so I wasn’t anxious about rushing to the hospital. We decided to wake the kids up and say goodbye to them before leaving to the hospital and we got one last family of 5 picture and one last bump picture!  The kids were SO EXCITED to go to school that day and tell all their friends their baby brother was coming! We told them that when they got home from school we’d call them so they could see sweet Theo!

We left for the hospital and I was surprised that as soon as we hit the road, my contractions went from 10 min apart to 4-5 min apart. By the time we got to the hospital 30 min away (arriving at around 7:30am), they were more like 3 min apart! I distracted myself on the drive with Aaron and I talking about our predictions on his weight. I knew he was going to be a big kid for being over 2 weeks early, so I predicted he’d be 7 lbs 12 oz. (Cora and Hazel were both 7 lbs 6 oz and Will was 8 lbs 2 oz at full term 40 weeks). As we checked in, Aaron had to do everything and answer all the questions because I couldn’t speak much through the pain. I just kept telling myself my c-section would be in probably an hour at most, so I didn’t have to do this long. I also kept telling myself this was the last time! They swiftly got us back to a triage room and we actually walked right by Schwartz who was on her way to another c-section before she was free to do mine. When we to back to the triage room, I actually got a bit frustrated because I changed into my hospital gown and then it felt like 15 min before anyone walked in to check on us or get everything ready. Here I was laboring and no one was checking us in, starting my IV or anything. I started to feel antsy to get stuff going. Finally the nurse came in to check me and I was 5cm dilated and fully effaced. Since Schwartz was in another surgery and wouldn’t be ready for almost an hour, as soon as my IV was in they gave me meds to slow my contractions. I was very thankful for some relief where my contractions were spread out and shorter and less intense for a bit before we went to the OR. The nurse told me if I had waited much longer to come in, I probably would have just had the baby in triage. Which again, with my traumatic birth history with Will, was a terrifying thought because there was no guarantee the baby would have been delivered easily or safely other than by C-section. Speaking of IVs it took them 4 tries to find a vein that would work… which was excruciating. Seriously I think IVs are just as bad as the worst labor contractions! 

One of my favorite moments while waiting in triage that made me giggle was when I got a text from my friend Jessica at around 8am saying her Dr.s appointment had to be rescheduled because Schwartz had an unexpected delivery and she was convince it was me. I laughed so hard because it was!!

Finally the anesthesiologist walked in and I knew it was almost go time! He confirmed Schwartz had finished her other c-section and they were getting my OR ready to go. By the way, I LOVE anesthesiologists! They are always so laid back and both the ones I have had were like our bff in triage and the OR. They are up for casually chatting and their demeanor always puts me at such ease. Plus they have the good drugs that take away my contraction pain! 

Then at around 8:30am we were off and being wheeled to the OR! We got in there and I walked to the table to got prepped for my spinal block. They had to wait through a big contraction, but then the drugs were in and I started feeling instant relief! They took some time prepping me and I was quite entertained by the playlist in the OR. I walked into Sugar Ray’s “Every Morning” which was such an odd song. Obviously NOT Dr. Schwartz’s playlist. (Fun fact, Theo was born while Mariah Cary’s “Fantasy” was playing! Such a fitting moment!). Aaron finally walked in and the surgery started. I always am so amazed how quickly it happens that they make the first cut and then before you know it the OR is filled with baby cries. Theo was born at 8:44am! His sweet little mewing cry was just the sweetest and I cried and cried that he was here! They took him over to the table and from where I was I could watch as they wiped him down and took care of him. They announced his weight and he was 8 lbs 4 oz!! Schwartz was shocked and everyone was so surprised at how big he was for being 2 weeks and 2 days early! I immediately started laughing in surprise and declared to the room “I feel very validated in how uncomfortable I have been!”

The surgery finished up while they cleaned and wrapped up our boy. I had asked for skin to skin, but the nurse was concerned at how cold the OR was and that Theo’s body wouldn’t do well with that. So when Theo was all wrapped up, he was handed off to Aaron and then Aaron brought him over to me. He put his head right next to mine and I could feel his warmth. I kissed him on the cheek and then he turned his little head and puckered his lips to smooch me back! Such a sweet moment. Aaron got lots of snuggles in while they were closing me up and I spent most of the time trying to relax because the medication made me so shaky. The anesthesiologist took pictures of us and before I knew it they has finished up my surgery and I was ready to head to recovery! They put me on the rolling bed and then handed me my baby boy and I snuggled him as they rolled us to recovery! 

I love the recovery room! It might be my favorite part of having a baby! It is so quiet and chill. Only one nurse comes in and out. As we were wheeled into the room, I noticed the clock and it was just about 9:30am. It was so wild to me how the day was already under way! After the c-section my body is still dealing with the affects, so I was cold and shaky, and so I snuggled Theo, started nursing (which he started without issue!! Praise God) and they piled on warm blankets to control our body temperatures. And then Aaron and I spent an hour relaxing, chatting, and recounting how the last nearly 4 hours had unfolded.

Then at around 10:30am they wheeled us to our permanent room. As we were wheeled through the halls they stopped at the Lullaby button! At our hospital every time you have a baby, they have you push a button to play a lullaby throughout the speakers in the hospital. It is such a sweet moment. Aaron and I actually have no memory of doing it with the other kids, but they videoed this moment for us. We continued on to our room and I finally got to fully sit up and get somewhat comfortable with my boppy nursing pillow covering my incision site and getting to fully hold my little boy and really take him in!

Theo was such a perfect mixture of Will/Hazel and Cora! I thought Hazel was a copy and paste of Will when she was born, but Theo even more reminded us of Will, but with Cora’s mouth and chin! I had pictured my whole pregnancy him having dark hair like Cora did (not sure why) and so I was surprised how light it was and how little of it there was! Also, there was definitely no red. He was very much his own self, but so reminiscent of the other kiddos. The Mertz genes are so strong, because regardless he just looks like his daddy! Speaking of Mertz genes, we FaceTimed the kiddos as soon as they were all home from school and up from naps and they were beyond delighted to see their tiny baby! When the camera wasn’t on him and Aaron and I were talking to them, they were quick to ask for the phone to go back on their brother and not us! At one point in the phone conversation I had the phone pointed to Theo and I could also see all the tiny faces of my other kids on the screen and the reality that I had 4 children hit me! I told Aaron to take it in and his eyes got wide and the reality hit him too! So incredibly thankful and also so incredibly surreal and a bit overwhelming.

A bittersweet element of Theo’s arrival was that it happened to be on the same day (just about 11 hours before) my Aunt passed away. She had developed Pneumonia after having surgery for a neck injury and sadly she couldn’t fight it. The week leading up to her passing we had all prayed for her recovery and then that Thursday we knew it was time to let her go. Several family members met at the hospital Thursday evening to be with her and her two sons (my cousins) and as they spent time together they actually discussed what a sweet thing it would be if Theo happened to be born the next day knowing that was when they would be taking her off life support. When I woke up Friday morning and my water broke it was one of the first things I thought about. What a bittersweet thing to have him begin his life while Aunt Etna’s life ended. A reminder that life continues and God can give us great joy in the midst of grief. Aunt Etna would have LOVED Theo and she would have been one of the first people to send a welcome card and come visit us to meet him. She was so incredibly sweet and thoughtful and it was good for my heart to know they shared life together for a little while before Etna went home to heaven.

The remainder of our hospital stay went by rather quickly. There was a piece of me that was itching to get home to my kids, but also a part of me that loved the break from caring for everyone else and instead having others care for me, bring me food, hand me a baby, change that baby’s diaper, while I “relaxed” (I add the quotations because it isn’t true relaxing when you are in pain from surgery, desperate for a hot shower (for the first 24 hours then I took a shower in the jankiest shower, but it felt incredible!), exhausted and unable to really get good sleep, and people coming in and out of your room constantly to check on you or baby). But even in the midst of that, Aaron and I enjoyed the hospital stay and it being just the 3 of us and we would just sit and chat. We mostly spent time recounting all the many memories we had in that hospital. Maybe it was because this was our last birth, or maybe it was because Theo was another boy, but we spent quite a bit of time re-processing Will’s birth (our first birth). You would think 7 years later, it wouldn’t be so raw, but Aaron said that being in the same little waiting room outside the OR as he was during Will’s birth definitely triggered some unpleasant memories and feelings in him. It was healing and sweet to relive some of our hard moments, but also beautifully joyful moments from our 4 births.

Another part of our hospital stay was pain management for me. Since having Hazel, the hospital had changed their drug policy and switched up the pain meds offered to patients. After the harder drugs they gave me before and right after the c-section had worn off, all they offered me was alternating doses of Tylenol and Motrin. After 24 hours of that I felt like I was still in a ton more pain than I should be. When I mentioned this to my day nurse, she offered me a low dose of Oxicodone. But when it came time for another dose 6 hours later, my night nurse didn’t include it when she came. So finally I brought it up to her and she was incredibly hesitant to give it to me. It was such a frustrating thing for me because I felt like I was begging for drugs because I was in pain, which probably signaled to the nurse a red flag to not give me the stronger meds. When she finally relented I felt some relief, but the damage was done and I felt like my last day in the hospital I was perpetually behind the pain and so it was really discouraging. Thankfully once I was home, my doctor had prescribed me the stronger medication and I figured out a timing schedule that helped me feel on top of the pain and gave me the relief I needed!

By the time I was able to be discharged, Aaron and I were ready! We got all packed up and hit the road.

Introducing Theo to our big kids upon returning home was one of the sweetest moments of my life! We brought him in and my in laws had them all sitting on the couch quietly waiting. They all were instantly giggling with delight and excitement! I could see the tears welling up in Will’s eyes and as soon as I sat down, he jumped off the couch and ran into Aaron’s arms and said “I think I’m gonna cry, I’m so happy. I feel so wonderful!” Each one got a turn to hold him with Cora going first and when Will and Hazel had turns, they each sang him the sweetest rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle”. I cried multiple times from shear joy. And just like that we were a family of 6!!

To finish up this rather long birth story, if you’ve made it this far, I’ll give you the stories behind Theo’s name! 

Theodore (Nickname Theo) was actually on our name list for Will and was always in second place. Aaron and I love old fashioned names, and I loved either Theo and Teddy as nicknames. Aaron was on board with the name, but when we officially found out we were having a boy we had a brief hesitation and didn’t want to commit. But then after a few days of throwing out EVERY other boys name we liked, we realized Theodore really was the best one! Theodore means “Gift of God” and we loved that too for our little boy and final baby. We chose Theo as the name we would call him, because we loved that it could stay consistent from childhood to adulthood (Teddy always turns into Ted and we didn’t like that as much). Note: If Theo had been a girl he would have been Margaret or Margot.

Lewis - The first middle name actually took a LONG TIME for us to figure out. We had a list of all our remaining male family names thinking we would use one, but none of them really excited us - George, David, John, Joseph, etc. we rotated through them for ages. Finally I told Aaron one day we should think of other people (not family) we may want to honor in the middle name. Cora’s middle name Jane is after both our favorite author Jane Austen, so I suggested we think of other authors we like… or theologians… or biblical figures… or people personally significant in our lives. Aaron immediately joking suggested “Theodore Clive Sinclair Mertz” After C.S. Lewis. I laughed and then cantered with “Theodore Lewis” and we both looked at each other and our eyes got wide and we just knew that was it! We both LOVE C.S. Lewis and have read nearly all his books and hold many of his passages and quotes dear to our hearts and lives! We also loved that he paralleled Cora’s author middle name. 

Lee actually was chosen before we had settled on Theo. Will has both his middle names after Aaron and my dad’s (James & Randy), so I thought we could honor our mom’s by figuring out how to use their names - Linda Leona and Laurie Dee. I had spent a couple years thinking about it from time to time and thinking of names that combined their first names or middle names or carried the same meanings, etc. I had a whole list on my phone of possible combination names. Combining Leona and Dee to make Lee was the best option! Note: if Theo had been a girl we would have used the combined name Lindrie as a middle name. Isn’t it cute! But definitely sounded too girly in my mind.

So there it is Theodore Lewis Lee Mertz. Our little Theo!