Thursday, March 17, 2016

Will's First Week! 2/10 - 2/17

I want to freeze time and keep him this tiny forever! He is pure magic and I can't stop kissing and snuggling and holding him all day every day! I get emotional all the time at the tiniest things like his small finger nails, and the fact that someday he will grow up and get married and leave me. Aaron finds my emotions endlessly entertaining and even I quickly laugh at myself at how easily I cry.

I feel a bit guilty that I spend all day every day just loving and watching this little boy (with the occasional nap and meal and load of laundry), but then I remember this is my job! This is what I am supposed to be doing all day!

One week old today! Life has been pretty blissful with 

this little man for the last week! I asked Aaron yesterday 
how we lived life before this tiny person arrived.
 I miss him when I'm sleeping, I miss him even when I am 
holding him and look away for a second. I cried this morning when 
I realized he'll never be this little again! I cry pretty much all 
the time cause he overwhelms me with how perfect he is. 
There were 6 minutes at the end of my delivery where we 
nearly lost him completely and the fact that he is perfect is 
something I praise God for every moment. William, 
you have completely wrecked your dad and
 I in the most beautiful and profound way.

Fun facts: He is a nursing CHAMP! 
From the get go in the recovery room he took to it like a duck to water • 
he loves being swaddled • he hates being naked • 
he also HATES having his diaper changed • 
he has gained over 6oz since we came home from the hospital • 
he peed or pooped through every sleeper we had in one night • 
he has the most gorgeous fluffy copper hair • 
we are already doing tummy time cause his neck and head are 
so strong and he likes looking from side to side • 
he slept over 5 hours in a row last night... 
Which made up for the sleepless night we had the night before • 
he loves loves sleeping on daddy's chest • he loves his mommy!

Nicknames we have for him in this first week - Bud, Buddy, Buggy, Bug, Booger (which Aaron hates), sweetest boy, sweetest guy, dude, duder, little man, sweetness, little love, little bear... etc.

Aaron and I brought Will home from the hospital on February 14th! For two people who could NOT care less about Valentine's Day, this made that date very special. We drove home at a glacial pace and every little speed bump, I would look over at our little guy to make sure he was ok - yes, I sat in the back seat with him while Aaron drove us.
I also totally cried most of the drive home because... well... hormones. Also the reality that he was ours and we would get to keep him forever and ever just came to full reality for me.

We were greeted home by an empty and yet spotlessly clean house and a sweet banner Laurie and Ashley made for us! Also there were some delicious cookies and sweet little decorations and flowers to welcome our little arrival. Jeez did our home feel huge with this tiny little life with us. I immediately took Will into our bedroom and laid him out on our bed to take more pictures! 

 He was just so tiny! Even his little coming home outfit was SWIMMING on him! Fun Fact: When newborn clothing says "up to 7lbs" it's lying. I believed them and so decided to get a 0-3 month outfit for his "coming home" outfit since we was born over 8 lbs... turns out the newborn outfits would fit him for well after he passed the 7 lb mark! Silly Old Navy!

We settled into home life and pretty much were prepared for all hell to break loose for our first night at home because that is how the world works. When your baby is a DREAM in the hospital, you kind of expect the shoe to drop and them to flip on you as soon as all your help has gone away. But Will did quite well for his first night! My milk came in that first night and so I think he was definitely excited to be eating. However, this fact backfired on us for his second night at home because his poor little digestive system took some time to adjust and he has just terrible gas and was one sad baby! We actually ended up calling our pediatricians office that second night because we were nervous something was wrong.
They assured us that everything was ok and that it was normal for a little one's digestive system to need time to learn how to take actual milk and not just colostrum. It also didn't help him that my let down was a bit forceful, which meant that he had to gulp down his milk to keep up with the flow and that meant LOTS of gas bubbles in his tummy. I had to stop him mid feed just to burp him so he wouldn't be in pain later.

I was quite reassured of his progress when we had his follow up pediatrician appointment on our second day home from the hospital and he had gained 6 ounces in 2 days since leaving the hospital, which put him over his birth weight and meant he was growing JUST FINE! I believe they told me I had super milk, which basically made me feel like the greatest super hero ever! There is nothing better than knowing that you are doing what is best for your child and making sure they are growing strong. I was lucky enough to be able to nurse Will, but even if it hadn't gone that way, the important thing is that no matter how it happens - bottle or breast - when your baby is growing big and strong, it is just the best!

Aside from pediatrician appointments and digestive hurdles to overcome, our first few days home were blissful.

Will got to meet his PopPop on our first full day at home. It was really incredibly sweet to see my dad meet my son. He walked in and was delighted at the sight of our sweet baby and sat down with me for introductions and some pictures. Sadly that only lasted a few minutes and then he wanted to go and sit out in the car, so we visited with my mom for another 15 minutes and then they headed back home. I thought the whole visit that it was going as I predicted in my head and I didn't really expect my dad to last very long or be overly interested in Will, so I was thankful for no surprised.
But as soon as Aaron closed the door after we said goodbye to mom and dad I absolutely lost it and just wept for what was lost. I hate dementia. I really do. The time I introduced my son to my dad shouldn't have looked that way. It was not SUPPOSED to be that way. My dad would have loved Will and been so proud of him. He would have scooped him up into his arms and sat for a long time with Will on his chest just taking in the sweetness of him. He would have hugged me and asked how I was feeling and told me how proud he was of me and how excited he was that the thing I longed for most in my whole life had finally come true.

He would have gotten emotional watching me be a mom. He would have been present with me. He would have been at the hospital leading the waiting room in prayer and comforting my mom and praying for mine and Will's safety. And we would have recounted God's protection and faithfulness over that time in the comfort of my house, sitting on my couch. And as that vision flooded over me as he drove away, I grieved what I had lost. I grieved for Will. I grieved for the fact that Will wouldn't know his PopPop personally and won't get to experience the amazing man he was.
I grieved what Will probably never would, because he wouldn't know any other PopPop than the man who was sick.

I was sad because we didn't get a picture of my dad with Will in the yellow blanket. My dad wasn't really interested in holding Will, which again wasn't surprising, but I so badly wanted a picture of the two of them like Shawn & Nicole had with each of their kids. My mom did get some sweet pictures of Will in the yellow blanket.

Other than big introductions, Will's first week finished out nice and lazy at home with just dad and I. Aaron's work was generous and gave him 2 weeks of paternity leave and then after our delivery went awry, they decided to let him start the 2 weeks from the time we got home from the hospital, so he ended up having 2.5 weeks at home with us. This gave him ample time to relax with our little dude and help take care of Will and I.
Aaron would wake up with Will in the early morning and after I fed him, would take him into the living room and let me keep sleeping while the two of them played video games together - with Will sleeping in Aaron's arms of course. Daddy was in complete heaven with his little dude!

I quickly resigned myself to taking MILLIONS of pictures of Will! Everything he did was amazing. He loved the Rock N Play and it was the perfect thing to put him in while we were around the house. It rocked itself, so he slept SO GOOD in it. We also started regular tummy time at home because even in the hospital he was lifting his head and looking around at the world. The doctor told us that tummy time was a must to make sure his neck grew strong and his head stayed nice and round. So this first week I have WAY too many pictures of him looking so cute just laying around.

Oh my, he is just so squishy and cute! I loved being able to put him in the cutest tiniest clothes and and wrap him up warm in a swaddle. We quickly learned that we needed to get him more newborn jammies because he pooped through all the ones we owned in ONE NIGHT! There is nothing like changing a baby and changing crib sheets with your spouse in the middle of the night! We had an effective system though, so that helped curb the tension.

The people at our church were so incredibly generous and my mother in law set up a meal plan for people to bring us food for Will's first few weeks of life and we got the most delicious meals! Will also got to meet more people as they brought food over. My friend Anne brought me yummy cookies that help with my milk production and other people came over just to meet our tiny prince and bring sweet gifts and well wishes. Aaron and I took every opportunity to tell our harrowing tale! I also perfected nursing and eating at the same time!

By the time Will turned a week old, he was quite the social butterfly but he still had some very important people still to meet - his cousins! Shawn & Nicole brought the kiddos over for their introductions! They walked in while I was finishing up feeding him, so they had to wait until I took my nursing cover off to fully see him. But they were absolutely fascinated by his tiny toes!

Emolyn was the first to hold him and she was a pro! Seeing her holding my tiny son was surreal! The little girl who made me an aunt with the little boy who made me a mom. I couldn't take it in.
Elsie was next to hold him and she just cooed over how sweet he was!
Jonah was very nervous holding Will and as soon as he was in his arms, Jonah froze in concentration.
Nathan at first didn't really want to hold him at all. I think there was a piece of him that had expected an older baby who would be more interactive, so I think he was a bit disappointed and thrown off.
All in all the general consensus amongst the group was that Will was awesome and they loved him.

And just like that, Will's first week was complete! Of course we commemorated his milestone with a "few" photos:

And then Will was spent!

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