My feet have shrunk...

I have always worn a size 8.5 in shoes. Ever since jr. high I have had these clod-hopper feet, but I have noticed in my recent shoe buy escapades that I wear an 8. I know that is not a HUGE deal, but sometimes I will find a pair of 7.5!!! Now before you think that it may just be the brands of shoes that I am wearing, you'll be happy to know that even the 8.5 shoes I have owned for a while are big on me now... what is this??

Okay, so after 3 requests submitted for classes at Royal Holloway I have finally finalized my "study plan". I kept picking classes that I was less and less interested in before I finally found some classes that still had space available. My classes are as follows:

English 2208 - (Elizabeth) Gaskell, (George) Eliot, and (Charles) Dickens

History 2010 - Conquest and Colonization: Culture, Society and Religion 1000-1300

History 2213 Modern British History 1914 - 1973

I am choosing to look on the bright side though and although I am not interested AT ALL in modern British History or Colonization pattern amongst Europe PRIOR to the Middle Ages I am going to take it in stride and think that there must be a reason why I am in these particular classes. After all I will still be in England and that was always the point anyway.
I have also been stocking up on the stuff I need for England. I got a down jacket the other day at Burlington coat Factory which is really cute!! I also have lots of sweaters and long sleeve shirts and scarves and gloves, etc to keep me warm.
I have also researched the amount of luggage I am able to take with me over there and I have no idea if I'll be able to fit it all in my 2 checked bags and 2 carry-ons (one carry on being a backpack). I'll probably ship stuff over there too, but I can't think how much that'll cost.
Other than that life has been good! I am feeling more scholastic. With my work schedule being minimal (15 - 20hrs a week) I have more time to do homework and more time to RELAX!!
Also, one of my FAVORITE holidays is this week!! YAY halloween! I have already had one party and this friday I'll have 2 more... one is for work in the morning and the other is Shawn and Nicole's. I am way excited!! The party on sunday was our college groups and I went as Buffy the Vampire Slayer! I think what I love most about Halloween is the part where I dress up! I had so much fun getting all dressed up. Of course I was the Sarah Michelle Gellar Buffy, which meant 1997 baby!!! I also loved walking into Home Depot and asking for a wooden stake (of course I was in costume on the way to the party). The guy looked puzzled, so I clarified, "a stake that you'd hammer into the ground." to which he replied, "or kill a vampire with?" I laughed so hard and he became my favorite person for the day. Here are some pictures, because I know none of you read the above and that all we blog readers look at are pictures, hehe.

bad things happen in 5's?

It would appear that life is not going my way...

1. I lost my notebook that has ALL my notes from my classes thus far this semester. (Note: I did end up finding where it was and will retrieve it shortly... but still: Freak out!!)

2. ALL the classes I requested to take over in England are full. SUPER BUMMED! Now I have to find new classes and I really thought I had the perfect class load.

3. My bike has a flat tire and so I will continue to drive to school and pay for parking until and alternate bike can be retrieved from my parents house or my bike can be fixed

4. I don't understand my Spanish homework and have not read all my required reading for my "Arthur class"... I think I am hitting the "I want to quit school" phase of the semester.

5. As the last 9 weeks of work slowly count down, it is harder for me to engage in my job. I am really trying to end well there, but I am loosing motivation, and fast.

On a lighter note, got to spend time with Emolyn on Sunday. My family had a really fun time over at Shawn and Nicole's for lunch.

I wish...

I wish I could afford to buy an entirely new wardrobe. I have working in a professional environment for 3 years now. Every time I go shopping I always buy based on whether I can wear something to work. Now that I will shortly be leaving my job and at least for a time (while in England) dress however I want, I have no idea what my style is. Do I like my clothes because they serve their purpose for work or because they represent who I am... I would love to just start from scratch.

I wish I could sit down for the ENTIRE day and pour over my travel books in England and really get excited. I have yet to really think long and hard about my trip to England and plan my time there. It is only 11 weeks away and I have not serious thought or allowed myself to seriously think about the fact that I will be living in another country for 7 months... be away from my family for 7 months... I have pondered non of the logistics and every time I try to begin, I always have something more pressing to do for homework, or work... etc.

I wish I could read books off my pleasure reading list. I have a whole list of books I WANT to read, but they come second to books I NEED to read for class. I can't wait till december... I'm gonna catch up a lot.

I wish there were better movies in theaters. I don't even know what movies are in the theaters right now. I kind of want to see The Duchess, but I can wait for rental. I CANNOT WAIT for James Bond next month. But other than that the movie selection currently leaves much to be desired.

I wish I didn't have to sleep. Sometimes I could stay up all night if I was allowed to. But work the next day or school the next day always talks me into going to bed. But, sometimes I wish I didn't have to because there is so much I want to do and not enough daylight hours to do it in.

I wish I had time and money to cook a REALLY GOOD meal. I haven't cooked in months and months. Not since I lived on my own. I miss it, but I don't really have money to spend on delicious ingredients nor the time to prepare, and I feel it's pointless unless you have someone besides yourself to cook for.

I wish I had motivation to prepare for the class I'm teaching tomorrow. I am teaching a brand new class this quarter called Myokinetics and it takes a lot of prep since... like I've said... I have never taught it. I feel like I'm a brand new instructor again because I have no experience with this class aside from a couple of days worth of trainings. It make me nervous.

I love this time of year...

For the last 3 days it has been in the temperature range of the 70's!! I love this time of year, like clock work the temperature drops right around this time. After the long, hot, draining summer, most people have little faith that the heat absorbed by the cement will give way and allow the cooler weather to enter in, but it does. I just absolutely love it... and you know what I did to enjoy it? I opened up the arcadia door to allow the weather in. I turned off our air conditioning and just let the outside weather cool the house. The apartment temp-meter read 75 degrees for most of the day - cooler than the 80 degrees we keep it at to keep our energy bill low.
I had the whole day off today and had the time of my life!!! I didn't get everything I wanted done, but I got the important stuff out of the way at least- including cleaning my room (which has been 3 weeks in coming), Study Abroad online orientation (which was informative and kept reminding me that I am in fact going to England - a fact that I often have to remind myself and then subsequently pinch myself for), printing off CPR cards (this actually needed to be done 2 months ago... yeah, yeah), preparing for the brand new course I am starting teaching tomorrow morning (I'm gonna be sick about this one), and all while watching the 5th and 6th season of Gilmore Girls. I love my life. I absolutely love the fact that this is probably the first day in about 2 years where I seriously have not changed out of my pajamas!!! Even on my most laziest of days I will have to go to the grocery store or something - but I made a point to do that last night!! I LOVED being lazy and sitting and enjoying the light breeze from outside my door.
The only things I wish I would have had time for today were a trip to Bookman's (used bookstore for those of you not from AZ), and maybe laying out by the pool (I need to keep my tan until England... I need from pigmentation before the sun goes away), but that'll have to wait for another day.
It is now 8pm and I still have a midterm to study for, a book to finish reading for my religions class, and I am determined to go to bed early tonight because I have a VERY full day tomorrow with work from 7am - 12:30, School from 1 - 4:30pm, and back at work from 6:30 - 10:30pm. But the upside is that this week starts my new job of working only around 15 hours per week (and subsequently my deduction in income - significantly, but I'll trade money for sanity any day). This also means I will only be working 1 night a week!!! I am so excited for that fact!

New Email Address...

I have a new email address all of you to use from now on:

mirandat1184@gmail.com

both addresses will work for the next couple of months, but eventually I'll just be using the new email only.

Reasons why men should want to marry Kendra and Miranda

Tonight in between the ceremony and reception of the Nelson wedding, Kendra and I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to make a pictorial portfolio of why men should want to marry us... (and notice the dress and how well my alterations turned out!!)

Miranda
Age: 23
Occupation: Massage Therapist, History major @ ASU
Interests: movies, books, England, witty banter, and Christ
Special Notes: She knows her comic book mythology, loves Disneyland, and speaks in a british accent - often
Favorite Song: anything but reggae
Kendra
Age: 24
Occupation: Child-Life Specialist
Interests: Likes kids, painting, laughing really hard, and Christ
Special Notes: She can sew, bake, and her eyes change color from blue to green depending on what she's wearing
Favorite Song: "Forever" by John Stamos
mmm... what's cookin' Kendra?
eat your heart out gentlemen
hot stuff comin' thru
not just a pretty face
no wrinkle stands a chance against the ironing prowess of Miss Kendra Evans
yes, I always vacuum in heels... don't you?
it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it... and in a gorgeous cocktail dress no less.
time for the dusting...
Donna Reed has nothing on us.
The bed even matches her outfit.
Martha Stewart says the throw pillows should take up half the bed... mission accomplished

Spinster Night!

Tonight is the first official "Spinster Night" for my friend Teresa and I. I am very excited because we have been talking about having this night for some months now. It will basically consist of her and I sitting, talking, catching up, and probably watching Jane Austen movies and drinking tea (even though I don't like tea, I should get use to it since I'm going to England). Shannon will also be joining us and so we trio of Spinsters are in for quite a night!!

Speaking of tea, I got rid of my stye!! (well for the most part... it's still slowly going away)
I realize that unless you have facebook, you obviously haven't been in the know about my eye affliction. I I got a stye in my upper eyelid. It wasn't a serious one, but it was super annoying and hurt when I blinked and I couldn't wear my contacts or eye make up, so I have been sporting the glasses for 3 days. Good thing my glasses are amazingly cute!
Anyhoo, the trick to getting rid of it was tea bags. My friend Leah at work told me to get a tea bag REALLY hot and place it on my eye for 20minutes and every time it gets cool, quickly reheat it so it stays really hot... two days later and the stye is gone!! yippie! I am really thankful it is gone because I have to look particularly pretty for a wedding tomorrow night. Basically Kendra and I are going to a wedding (3rd wedding in 2 weeks) and we are taking the opportunity to look REALLY pretty and get all fancy-fied and have the time of our lives. There also may be cute boys at the wedding and so I didn't want gross eye stye to drive potential suitors away.
As for what I'm wearing to the wedding, well I'm glad you asked. I bought a dress at forever21 2 weeks ago just for this wedding (because I don't own a lot of NICE dresses that I haven't already worn to SEVERAL weddings). When I tried the dress on everything was fine in the fitting room. It was a little roomy on me, but, I for some reason thought that was okay. Until I tried it on yesterday and it seriously SWIMMING on me. I called a couple other stores to see if they had a smaller size, but no luck - it was clearance so I don't know what I was expecting. I also noticed the seam along the zipper was undone so that would need to be re-sewn. Well, my seamstress is touring the midwest right now, so it was up to me. I am so very proud of myself, because I altered it and got it so what is probably 2 sizes smaller than what is originally was. Medium -- XSmall!! yay me. I wished I would have taken before and after shots of the fit so you could see all I did, but it looks beautiful! I am so excited to rock the wedding tomorrow!

I will definitely take pictures so you can all see my great accomplishments!

It's finals week at work...

One of the many things I will NOT miss about my job... finals week is filled with stressed students, inane questions, high tensions, grading, the stress of wondering if your class will fail miserably and make you look like a bad instructor, etc etc.

I had such a strange day... I don't want to say "bad" day because in the end it wasn't terrible. But I slept through my alarm and woke up at 8:35 - 5 minutes AFTER I needed to be at work. Luckily I got there RIGHT at 9am as class was starting, but that left me 30 minutes behind on prep and set up for class. Then one of my students cell phones went off in class... I let it slide because they were in the middle of a final and even though I was supposed to send him home right away, I felt compassion. Then 5 minutes later it went off AGAIN!!! I told him he had to go home and he got angry and yelled that it wasn't his fault and that his phone was off and he didn't understand why it kept ringing... right. Whatever. Then I just couldn't regain my day... I felt so incredibly off kilter. The rest of the day was filled with minor annoyances - students asking questions that I have answered 10 times before, I realized I filed homeworks that I hadn't entered grades for yet (which creates so much confusion for me and messes up records), my arm ached all afternoon (I think I slept wrong), my throat is scratchy, etc etc. Ugh... I hate days like this because most of these things wouldn't bother me in the slightest except when all piled together it is just so much. Finally around 4pm everything seemed to regain itself and I realized that God is in control. I am now home and finishing up homework and getting ready for a new day tomorrow. A better day tomorrow.

Okay full story...

I know it's late, but lord knows I won't be sleeping tonight with all the excitement. I actually SHOULD be sleeping because I have a rather full day tomorrow, but who care... I'M GOING TO ENGLAND!!

Since tuesday afternoon when I dropped off my application I have not stopped thinking and stressing and analyzing and going over and over the worst case scenario to the best case scenario and trying to not have my head explode. My hands were shaking and I felt sick every time I thought about what could or could not happen. I have been dreaming of studying in England for like 5 years-ever since I started college. And today was to be when all the dreams came true... my life would change forever. I knew God's plan for my life would, no matter what, be far better than anything I can drum up on my own and so even if I didn't get the spot, I would still trust God. But with all my trust in God, it still would hurt incredibly if I didn't get to go. So all day today I kept checking my phone to see if I'd missed the call. In my classes, I left it on vibrate so when it rang I could run out of the classroom. Finally at 1pm I figured that since I was on a break from class I may as well call the office to get an idea when I could expect a call either way. I left a message with Michelle (head of the programs in England) to have her call me just to let me know the status of everything... hoping she wouldn't judge the fact that I am borderline annoying.
I went to ASU alumni building
to sit and read my book... it's such a beautiful building and near my religions class. I waited (again agonizing while waiting for a call back... then 2:30 rolls around and Michelle calls (I have always loved that Michelle... she's my new best friend). When she told me I was awarded one of the spots at Royal Holloway I immediately started crying. I think it scared some guys walking by, but whatever, I'M GOING TO ENGLAND!! I called my parents immediately, then Tyler, then Nicole, and then Shawn!! I had to correct myself about 4 times from saying "if I go to England" instead of "WHEN I go to England". I can now indulge in all the thoughts that I have denied myself until I found out what my life will look like next year.

And again... here is where I'll be living in January

An American in London...

I GOT IN!!! I am going to be spending the spring of 2009 in London England!! I still cannot believe it! I apologize that I can't write more now, but I'll tell you the whole story when I get home from work tonight!! Love you all and thank you for your prayers. God is a good God, not that he wouldn't be if I had not been accepted, but just the fact that I get this opportunity is an answer to all my prayer and frustrations about the direction God has been leading my life in over the past 5 years. I am so incredibly joyful and full of incredible wonder at his sovereignty in my life.

Here is a glimpse of what my life will look like in January!

I should be doing homework...

hey all... so I turned in my application to study in England next semester yesterday. I will find out if I'm going tomorrow. I am seriously so nervous. Every time I think about it I get this lump in my stomach. I think when I had all my packet with me I felt like I had a little more control than now when everything is both literally and metaphysically, out of my hands. I just have to wait and do sit and pray. So if you all could pray along with me, that would be much appreciated. To fill the time, I have homework. Granted with my big project in my religions class being done, I now have a much less stressful work load, but I still have plenty to do. I have a take home quiz to do for my History 300 class and a resume to translate to spanish for, well, spanish. Oh! By the way, I thought I completely failed my Spanish exam last week... turns out, I got a 90%. Apparently the professor is really forgiving with grading. I seriously had NO IDEA what I was doing. The only thing that can truly explain the grade is God's love.

Also, today is the first week day in almost 6 weeks that I have had a morning off. I usually have a morning class at work to teach or school in the morning, but the quarter at work is coming to an end, so I have less classes therefore more down time. I slept in... not my plan, but when my body knows I don't absolutely HAVE to be awake for anything I tend to sleep through my alarm. I am gonna finish my quiz this morning so that tonight when I also don't have to work, I can just hang out at home. Pushing Daisies (my new favorite show) has the season premiere tonight so I'll be watching that. I also am gonna get my halloween/fall decorations out and decorate my apartment with Autumn cheer.

I am super excited to decorate this year because I just got back from Disneyland and saw the park all decorated for Halloween for the first time!! It was really beautiful. They don't have it all decked out like it is at Christmas, they just started going all out for Halloween about 3 years ago, so I'm assuming every year will build. I LOVE Halloween. I am my fathers daughter. When I was little I think it was because I loved dressing up... but as I am older the dressing up part, while still fun, is less the reason. I think it's cause I know it's gonna get colder out. Like clock work, in phoenix, the week before Halloween is when the temperature drops from 100 degrees to the high 70's to low 80's... heaven. I am still not sure what I want to be for halloween, but it'll be fun!!

I also spent the weekend in Cali, not just for Disneyland, but also for my cousin's wedding. It was absolutely beautiful. Right on a cliff overlooking the beach. There was dancing... my dad taught me the rumba!! There was great food, and my cousins were there... minus Shawn and Tyler who couldn't make it out. It was so great to see Matt and Sylvia from Germany (if I get to go to England, I'll more than likely be seeing them again in February, this time in Europe - man that's fun to say... but the stomach lump is back). Lyle and I failed to catch the garter and bouquet... as the two single cousins there, we completely failed at our ONE job. I have caught 2 or 3 already though, so I can already see this tradition is bogus. I also have 2 more chances with weddings in the coming weeks. So enough talking... here are some pictures from the wedding and Disneyland.


Mr and Mrs Thompson!!

Mom and Dad's dancing lessons have paid off
the most comfortable dress ever... it's jersey material so I felt like I was wearing PJs all night.

on to disneyland!!

we're going Pooh together. Yay Winnie the Pooh

I still love this ride
Lyle's brush with fame

I got pulled on stage during the Bill Hill and the Hillbillies show in frontierland

Saving!!!

For the first time in 3 months I have been able to put some of my paycheck into savings... I used to be able to save every paycheck, but with so many ASU expenses and bad spending habits, I haven't done it in a while. It feels really good to be a good steward of my money (actually never understood exactly what that meant, but I feel it).

Had to buy a new backpack... some genius at the Jansport decided to make a backpack more comfortable by putting a liquid gel in the straps... too bad the gel is red and it leaks ALL OVER my clothes when I wear it!!! so I bought a new backpack at Walmart today. I also went around town looking for "The Allegory of Love" by CS Lewis (I need it for a paper I'm writing for school) only to find that it is no longer in print... suck!!!
So I'm wondering if anyone owns it, and would be willing to let me borrow it? Let me know ASAP.

Also there is a leak in my bathroom sink, so everything under my sink this morning was covered with water... it's now 6 hours after calling apartment maintenance and NO ONE has even called me back. I really don't appreciate this apartment complex. I miss Glenwood Terrace.

At work this morning I found out my boss is resigning... (I will refrain from making a smiley face - but I think you all know how I feel).

Also had a meeting with the lady in charge of study programs in England... and everything is looking rather promising for me and the spring :) I will be turning in my application with my application fee, transcripts, and letters of recommendation from two of my professors in the next couple of weeks. The deadline is Oct. 1st and they said I would hear if I got in the next day... so cross your fingers and of course - pray :) I am trusting God in his plan, but I want to let you all know, I am way to excited about all this, so if I don't get in, I may cry for several weeks... and then apply again for the fall of '09.

I am now going to go clean my house... and if you're lucky you may get pictures of the apartment on here in the next couple of days :)

don't know what to eat...

Just biked home from school and I have about 45 minutes till I have to go to work until 11pm... ugh. I am completely famished seeming as on days where I'm at ASU I don't eat lunch... I actually rarely eat all day because although I wake up early enough to have breakfast, I have no time to actually eat with last minute homework to organize. I even stayed up till 2am last night doing homework and there was still more to be done this morning. So now, here I sit trying to figure out what to eat. Nothing is coming to mind that doesn't require me to spend money or spend time preparing. I understand the college student menu of mac n' cheese and PB & J. I fear I will be gaining the freshman fifteen at the age of 23 (almost 24) with all the processed or fast food.
I feel MUCH better about school. Over the weekend (with all the work I had to do) I made it a point to remind myself of why I went back to school. NOT appearing on the list are: 4.0 GPA, best in my class, impress my professors, etc, etc. So why am I FREAKING out about these measly beginning of the semester assignments. The reason I went back to school was because I loved learning and I really wanted a bachelor's degree. If I'm not enjoying the learning process than why am I doing it. After I talked myself through that, I also took time out of homework (ie. procrastinated) to spend time with God. I read my Bible, went to college group... I spent time with family and friends... had a really great conversation with a friend over ice cream, and during that time I made it a point to not think about the need to be getting my homework done... and do you know what happened? As I sat down to write both of my papers sunday afternoon, I had this flood of peace and completed both papers with no trouble. Then today in my History 101 class my professor cancelled the quiz and let us out early. This allowed me to finish my reading for my next class REL 494, which I would not have been able to do otherwise, and then I arrived at my next class and that quiz too was postponed. Sweet!! I am in for yet another busy weekend of homework... there is no rest for the scholastic.

Also realized that my bike isn't as pretty as the other bikes on campus... I want this bike... with a basket and streamers.

questions from a college student...

It is the end of my second week as a college student. They say that there are several things that once learned can never be forgotten... like riding a bike. I have proven this fact literally because after my long absence from bike riding, I have again become comfortable on such a mode of transportation. I am actually enjoying my rides to and from campus, of course after the initial 5 minutes where my legs still ache a little bit (note: I need to stretch in the mornings)... but other things that I learned long ago, have not come back so easily.
One such skill is time management... okay let's face it, this skill has never existed in my bag of tricks... I am TERRIBLE at time management!!! I always have been, it is not my forte. I struggle with it at my job and now with school. It of course doesn't help that I have been without homework for almost 3 years, and so getting back into the groove of coming home and NOT being free to sit and watch a movie or read a book of my choosing, or my particular favorite - just go to bed. I now come home and have endless amounts of information still needing to be retained. I have papers to write and novels to read and history books to pour through, and spanish verb tenses to memorize... UGH!!!
Speaking of Spanish - yet another skill once learned and now lost. Granted it's coming back, but I am having to look up even the easy words to refresh myself... for example the word "easy" (for your information it's "facil"). I deal with this though... I keep my head down in class and avoid eye contact and only speak up when the answer only requires one spanish word and not entire sentence construction. This way La Profesora remembers I participated and yet I avoid her calling on me at random. brilliant, I know. I should write a book.
Aside from skill retraining, I am also learning things for the first time. I often pose questions to myself as I wander around campus on my bike... like, "can ASU students walk in a straight line?" This is a very important question, because no matter how proficient a cyclist I am, I cannot avoid random students who weave around imaginary barriers and jump out in front of my bike. It's not that they needed to move in order to avoid anything in their way... they just do, they will just randomly start walking diagonal right in my way. I mean they veer back and forth like field mice. It's very frustrating... because then I have to come to a screeching halt behind them and hope I don't just run them over (however tempting that may be), or I have to escape onto the adjacent lawn or swerve and pray no one is in my path.
Another question is, "do sorority girls get special training to squeal as loud as they can?" It is greek week and ever sorority is out in force to recruit. They set up a fair of sorts on the north part of campus and all the way from the MU I could hear the crowd at a decibel level that can not be natural. Now, I actually did have a moment where I wanted to wander over and try to be wooed by a sorority... maybe if I'd have gone to college and lived on campus I would have gotten involved in a sorority... wait... HAHAHA who am I kidding, I would have rather had spiders lay eggs in my ears. I do sometimes however want to stop and tour the booths for different clubs still littered around campus... but I seriously have no time to commit to any such clubs...
Which brings me to my final thought provoking question, "Can a returning college student and massage therapy instructor go to school 6 hrs a day on tuesday and thursdays and be assigned at least another 8+ hours of homework per week, and still work at her 32 hour a week job (nights no less)?" The answer... a resounding NO. I have been told by my managers that they are trying to hire someone to replace me next quarter and therefore I'll be relegated to adjunct faculty (meaning I'll work around 8 - 15 hours a week). They have spoken about it like it was a possibility and that nothing was definite and that I still could be kept on at full time, and yesterday I told them that I had decided for them that I was to be adjunct. I feel really good about this as far as my position at the massage school and my ASU school load and my sanity. So now I am researching other part-time jobs. I would love if I could work somewhere on ASU's campus. But I'm also looking into nannying and possibly a library job... something low-key where I can be quiet and possibly sneak in some homework time. It'll only be until December hopefully, so I'm actually up for anything. With that said, if you hear of any jobs opening up around october that fit that description, let me know :)
Aside from the stress of life that is accompanying my ASU experience, I am really kind of... well... freaked out about the whole college thing. I am not counting this necessarily as a bad thing... maybe it's a well needed dose of excitement in my life... but I am just incredibly daunted by everything I am experiencing and expected to do. I have so much on my plate, and I have no idea how I'm gonna do it all, but at the same time I am hoping that I will develop some type of groove... and that it is only the 2nd week and it will hopefully get better. I am also restful in the fact that I don't need to be perfect and that it is often true that my mediocre is better than I give it credit for. So here's to my new academic freedom from perfection. And remembering that I went back to school to learn, and NOT be a straight A student.

That's all for now... I have to go read the Romance of Tristan

P.S. I will try to get pictures posted on here soon... I know no one enjoys posts unless they have pictures.

Madison Marie Schneider!!!

My good friend Jeannette had her little baby girl this morning at 12:35am. Madison Marie Schneider came one month early, but is so healthy and wonderful. 4lbs 2.6oz!!! My friend Kelsie texted me from the hospital at midnight to say that Jeannette was being wheeled into the OR for a C-section. It had been an all day event with Jeannette going into the hospital and them (doctors) finding some complications that prompted them to make the decision to induce Jeannette that very day. They figured she could possibly complete natural labor so we were all sitting and waiting to hear when we could head down to the hospital. By we I mean "the girls". We all sat in the waiting room for Nicole when Emolyn was born and baby girl Schneider would have nothing less than the same support. So as soon as Kelsie texted me I headed down to Good Sam. Good thing I was awake... I wouldn't have missed it for the world. The only on missing from our group was Meredith, and we missed her terribly!! Check out the now traditional picture... then check out the original here

So Madison Marie was born and boy is she just absolutely beautiful. We all cried and cried and congratulated Matt (daddy). We then ALL followed Matt and Maddie down to the nursery and watched her through the window for the next 2 hours. What a wonderful evening and morning. It was such an amazing experience to be there outside the OR praying and waiting for my friend with some of the best people I know. Congratulations Williams, Youngs, Schneiders!!!

I am starting school tomorrow...

So over the weekend my outlook on school... and well life in general has changed. Quite magically I must say (although I think it's a little bit more than that). :). I am SOOOO excited about school tomorrow... I am spending the evening lounging and organizing. I got my desk and everything ready about a month ago in anticipation, but since then it has once again become the "catch-all" for misc. crap. I think it was the visual expression of my anxiety about starting school, but now I am so ready for the adventures that lie ahead of me and I can't wait to begin. And it all starts TOMORROW!! I am even organizing my back pack, which is something that is so exciting for me. I have a thing for school supplies and can't wait to get all my pencils and books and lined paper notebooks tucked away in my beautiful new blue backpack... I feel like such a 1st grader!! But I was reminded today by someone that backpack organization is an essential part of the collegiate process and although it was said with a tone of sarcasm, I'm gonna take him seriously anyhow. Part of my epiphany of excitement came with my Spanish textbook. I got it in the mail on friday, and as you all know it was my biggest fear about ASU... well I broke the shrink-wrap (which now makes it unreturnable and therefore binds me to the class) and was so relieved to find familiar words covering the pages. I remember how to read spanish!!! At least enough to get me through the first couple of chapters. I can't converse worth a darn, but I can read and therefore probably write a semi-coherent response... and with that little bit of knowledge I am hoping I can scrape by with a C-. This is all I'm aiming for because I have also been told "C's get degrees" and Spanish is the ONLY class I plan on getting less than an A in. So with spanish no longer my scariest part of ASU, another fear has moved up the ranks. This fear is that of completely crashing on my bike in the middle of ASU main and taking down unsuspecting pedestrian college students with me. I am having to resign myself to the fear of fall on my bike because I am a novice cyclist and I'm told people crashing on their bike in the middle of campus is a daily occurrence... the combination is inevitable.

So wish me luck as I trek down to ASU tomorrow to start my new life as true poor college student.

Now that ASU is finally started I can now worry about:
* Scheduling dentist appointment
* Application to study in England
* Focusing on classes I will take in future semesters
* Travel plans for Europe
* Disneyland trip with friends before year end
* Reading my text books

OH!! I bought a big book that contains 7 of CS Lewis' novels and I'm currently reading Mere Christianity... very deep. Hard to take in. I have to read it slowly... but it's good.

Thank you for all your prayers...

I forget that this was a regular feeling for me when I was going through school. I always felt anxious and inadequate, etc, etc. It wasn't until I worked at Open Door that my life changed completely as I realized that I would never feel adequate in this world, because I wasn't made for here. What a freeing feeling actually - to realize that your worth would NEVER be determined by the expectations of bosses, corporations, letter grades, and capacity. At this same time of enlightenment I also moved on from community college to massage school. Massage school is really a horse of a different color and now that I have worked there for over 2 1/2 years, the intimidation is completely gone (plus there was hardly any homework and tests were cake). But university that is scary and all the feelings of fear and inadequacy and basically anxiety of the unknown have come flooding back and while they have made my heart skip a beat every so often and hyperventilate, they seem to be old friends back for a visit... the kind of friends that you dread them coming and hide all the nice things in your house because they'll invariably destroy them. So, yeah, this I guess is the other side of the coin that comes with higher education and the opportunity to study something I love, possibly study in england, and complete a bachelor's degree (which just the thought of makes my heart leap for joy). My question is will this be the next 2 years of my life... or is it really directly related to Spanish 202 (which the thought of makes me want to throw up a little bit in my mouth). I don't know... I guess I'll be needing continual prayer. John spoke a couple weeks ago on "Leaning on your own understanding" and something struck me in his message (kind of like someone throwing a brick at my forehead). He said that in all of Job's suffering, Job really didn't want to know the reason or the purpose for all that he went through... he only wanted to know God was there, and that he loved Job, all Job wanted was his presence. That's all I want - is to feel the presence of the one who holds all things in his hand. I just want my Savior to be with me. So if you need a specific prayer on my behalf, it is that - that I would feel Jesus.



So my coping mechanism for all this? My dad. Haha, I mean my actual dad - Randy Thompson. I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but I have the best dad in the ENTIRE world. Not just because he is one of my very good friends who I can share my heart with and talk to... etc etc, but also because he is an incredibly talented guy. Whenever I am feeling incredibly desperate in life the song I turn to time and time again is All I Ever Wanted by my dad. I also have been repeating Ears to Hear and If You Can Hear Me Now (which is the story of my life right now). So now I have his entire anthology on shuffle throughout my apartment as I blog and clean. I just marvel at his lyrics... what an amazing writer. Maybe it's because I am his daughter and grew up with the way he words things and therefore have adopted them as my own, but it seems that his songs speak on a level that is right with my soul. Some samplings of lyrics that grab my heart:

"Jesus, I don't know what to say
I only wish that You were here now
To look into my eyes
And separate the truth from the lies
Like You've done so many times before
O Lord please hear my prayer
I need to know You're there
For I can't live without You"

"It used to make me cry
I used to never wonder why
It used to fill my life with so much passion
And all the treasures this life brings
I'd trade it all for just one thing
'Cause all I've ever really wanted was Jesus"

"I want to go with You wherever You may go
I want to have the courage Lord to follow
No matter what the cost I want to spend it all in serving You
Knowing that it’s not what I may give up
It’s not what I may loose along the way
Lord it’s true I want to know You"

and the Entire song, Once Upon a Cross - truly the most beautifully written song I have ever heard
"Jesus was a humble man a carpenter by trade
But there was something special about everything he made
Once upon a cross He carved a picture of the price
That it costs to be a carpenter and love what He had made
The scars in the hands of the sculptor are the price that must be paid

Jesus was so in love with everything He touched
His life was the only worthy gift for a world He loved so much

Jesus was a sailor and He walked upon the sea
Stood among the wind and waves that roared so angrily
Jesus called the fishermen to leave their nets behind
And search for the souls of men instead in the midst of an angry sea
Lift them from their worldliness and teach them to be free

Jesus stood among the waves and shouted to the shore
Can you hear Him calling anymore?

And it seems to me fools we'd be
To deny His everlasting love, turn our backs and just
Walk away from the gift He gave
When we were so hopelessly bound in sin
And only the love of Jesus could pay the price
Jesus was the final sacrifice

Jesus was an artist and He painted with His blood
A picture of the price of sin and love the final flood
To wash away the emptiness that stained their weary souls
Gives answers to the questions and reason to our rhyme
Only those who refuse to see are ever truly blind

Jesus rose above it all a moment before He died
Looked out on a weary world
And Jesus cried"

*** The picture of my dad and I is my very favorite ***

Can't sleep

need prayer... my heart is so anxious. The thought of going back to school, working, my future, relationships, etc etc... everything is making me so anxious. Granted it's one in the morning, and so a lot of it may have to do with being overly tired... but right now I am over-thinking everything. Please pray for me. I long for peace and contentment and I long to feel the presence of my Savior next to me. Just pray.