Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Madison Marie Schneider!!!

My good friend Jeannette had her little baby girl this morning at 12:35am. Madison Marie Schneider came one month early, but is so healthy and wonderful. 4lbs 2.6oz!!! My friend Kelsie texted me from the hospital at midnight to say that Jeannette was being wheeled into the OR for a C-section. It had been an all day event with Jeannette going into the hospital and them (doctors) finding some complications that prompted them to make the decision to induce Jeannette that very day. They figured she could possibly complete natural labor so we were all sitting and waiting to hear when we could head down to the hospital. By we I mean "the girls". We all sat in the waiting room for Nicole when Emolyn was born and baby girl Schneider would have nothing less than the same support. So as soon as Kelsie texted me I headed down to Good Sam. Good thing I was awake... I wouldn't have missed it for the world. The only on missing from our group was Meredith, and we missed her terribly!! Check out the now traditional picture... then check out the original here

So Madison Marie was born and boy is she just absolutely beautiful. We all cried and cried and congratulated Matt (daddy). We then ALL followed Matt and Maddie down to the nursery and watched her through the window for the next 2 hours. What a wonderful evening and morning. It was such an amazing experience to be there outside the OR praying and waiting for my friend with some of the best people I know. Congratulations Williams, Youngs, Schneiders!!!

Monday, August 25, 2008

I am starting school tomorrow...

So over the weekend my outlook on school... and well life in general has changed. Quite magically I must say (although I think it's a little bit more than that). :). I am SOOOO excited about school tomorrow... I am spending the evening lounging and organizing. I got my desk and everything ready about a month ago in anticipation, but since then it has once again become the "catch-all" for misc. crap. I think it was the visual expression of my anxiety about starting school, but now I am so ready for the adventures that lie ahead of me and I can't wait to begin. And it all starts TOMORROW!! I am even organizing my back pack, which is something that is so exciting for me. I have a thing for school supplies and can't wait to get all my pencils and books and lined paper notebooks tucked away in my beautiful new blue backpack... I feel like such a 1st grader!! But I was reminded today by someone that backpack organization is an essential part of the collegiate process and although it was said with a tone of sarcasm, I'm gonna take him seriously anyhow. Part of my epiphany of excitement came with my Spanish textbook. I got it in the mail on friday, and as you all know it was my biggest fear about ASU... well I broke the shrink-wrap (which now makes it unreturnable and therefore binds me to the class) and was so relieved to find familiar words covering the pages. I remember how to read spanish!!! At least enough to get me through the first couple of chapters. I can't converse worth a darn, but I can read and therefore probably write a semi-coherent response... and with that little bit of knowledge I am hoping I can scrape by with a C-. This is all I'm aiming for because I have also been told "C's get degrees" and Spanish is the ONLY class I plan on getting less than an A in. So with spanish no longer my scariest part of ASU, another fear has moved up the ranks. This fear is that of completely crashing on my bike in the middle of ASU main and taking down unsuspecting pedestrian college students with me. I am having to resign myself to the fear of fall on my bike because I am a novice cyclist and I'm told people crashing on their bike in the middle of campus is a daily occurrence... the combination is inevitable.

So wish me luck as I trek down to ASU tomorrow to start my new life as true poor college student.

Now that ASU is finally started I can now worry about:
* Scheduling dentist appointment
* Application to study in England
* Focusing on classes I will take in future semesters
* Travel plans for Europe
* Disneyland trip with friends before year end
* Reading my text books

OH!! I bought a big book that contains 7 of CS Lewis' novels and I'm currently reading Mere Christianity... very deep. Hard to take in. I have to read it slowly... but it's good.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Thank you for all your prayers...

I forget that this was a regular feeling for me when I was going through school. I always felt anxious and inadequate, etc, etc. It wasn't until I worked at Open Door that my life changed completely as I realized that I would never feel adequate in this world, because I wasn't made for here. What a freeing feeling actually - to realize that your worth would NEVER be determined by the expectations of bosses, corporations, letter grades, and capacity. At this same time of enlightenment I also moved on from community college to massage school. Massage school is really a horse of a different color and now that I have worked there for over 2 1/2 years, the intimidation is completely gone (plus there was hardly any homework and tests were cake). But university that is scary and all the feelings of fear and inadequacy and basically anxiety of the unknown have come flooding back and while they have made my heart skip a beat every so often and hyperventilate, they seem to be old friends back for a visit... the kind of friends that you dread them coming and hide all the nice things in your house because they'll invariably destroy them. So, yeah, this I guess is the other side of the coin that comes with higher education and the opportunity to study something I love, possibly study in england, and complete a bachelor's degree (which just the thought of makes my heart leap for joy). My question is will this be the next 2 years of my life... or is it really directly related to Spanish 202 (which the thought of makes me want to throw up a little bit in my mouth). I don't know... I guess I'll be needing continual prayer. John spoke a couple weeks ago on "Leaning on your own understanding" and something struck me in his message (kind of like someone throwing a brick at my forehead). He said that in all of Job's suffering, Job really didn't want to know the reason or the purpose for all that he went through... he only wanted to know God was there, and that he loved Job, all Job wanted was his presence. That's all I want - is to feel the presence of the one who holds all things in his hand. I just want my Savior to be with me. So if you need a specific prayer on my behalf, it is that - that I would feel Jesus.

So my coping mechanism for all this? My dad. Haha, I mean my actual dad - Randy Thompson. I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but I have the best dad in the ENTIRE world. Not just because he is one of my very good friends who I can share my heart with and talk to... etc etc, but also because he is an incredibly talented guy. Whenever I am feeling incredibly desperate in life the song I turn to time and time again is All I Ever Wanted by my dad. I also have been repeating Ears to Hear and If You Can Hear Me Now (which is the story of my life right now). So now I have his entire anthology on shuffle throughout my apartment as I blog and clean. I just marvel at his lyrics... what an amazing writer. Maybe it's because I am his daughter and grew up with the way he words things and therefore have adopted them as my own, but it seems that his songs speak on a level that is right with my soul. Some samplings of lyrics that grab my heart:

"Jesus, I don't know what to say
I only wish that You were here now
To look into my eyes
And separate the truth from the lies
Like You've done so many times before
O Lord please hear my prayer
I need to know You're there
For I can't live without You"

"It used to make me cry
I used to never wonder why
It used to fill my life with so much passion
And all the treasures this life brings
I'd trade it all for just one thing
'Cause all I've ever really wanted was Jesus"

"I want to go with You wherever You may go
I want to have the courage Lord to follow
No matter what the cost I want to spend it all in serving You
Knowing that it’s not what I may give up
It’s not what I may loose along the way
Lord it’s true I want to know You"

and the Entire song, Once Upon a Cross - truly the most beautifully written song I have ever heard
"Jesus was a humble man a carpenter by trade
But there was something special about everything he made
Once upon a cross He carved a picture of the price
That it costs to be a carpenter and love what He had made
The scars in the hands of the sculptor are the price that must be paid

Jesus was so in love with everything He touched
His life was the only worthy gift for a world He loved so much

Jesus was a sailor and He walked upon the sea
Stood among the wind and waves that roared so angrily
Jesus called the fishermen to leave their nets behind
And search for the souls of men instead in the midst of an angry sea
Lift them from their worldliness and teach them to be free

Jesus stood among the waves and shouted to the shore
Can you hear Him calling anymore?

And it seems to me fools we'd be
To deny His everlasting love, turn our backs and just
Walk away from the gift He gave
When we were so hopelessly bound in sin
And only the love of Jesus could pay the price
Jesus was the final sacrifice

Jesus was an artist and He painted with His blood
A picture of the price of sin and love the final flood
To wash away the emptiness that stained their weary souls
Gives answers to the questions and reason to our rhyme
Only those who refuse to see are ever truly blind

Jesus rose above it all a moment before He died
Looked out on a weary world
And Jesus cried"

*** The picture of my dad and I is my very favorite ***

Monday, August 18, 2008

Can't sleep

need prayer... my heart is so anxious. The thought of going back to school, working, my future, relationships, etc etc... everything is making me so anxious. Granted it's one in the morning, and so a lot of it may have to do with being overly tired... but right now I am over-thinking everything. Please pray for me. I long for peace and contentment and I long to feel the presence of my Savior next to me. Just pray.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Miranda 1 Squaw Peak 1

Last night I hiked up Squaw Peak (or Piestewa Peak if you embraced the name change a couple years ago... I don't). It is pretty much a mile hike up stairs. Why did I do such a thing? peer pressure. I went with a bunch of my new friends from Grace Bible Church, who I know through my life long friend Kendra. Now, I am not a hiker... nope not at all. And when I was told we were hiking up Squaw Peak of all mountains, I was not hopeful I would see the top. Years and years ago when my cousins Aaron and Noel were visiting my mom thought we would all love a nice Arizona hike. I was around 10 years old and a bit of a drama queen so I didn't make it to the top and completely gave up half way. My cousin Noel on the other hand if I remember correctly basically ran all the way to the top and them back down to meet us and ran back up again... Squaw Peak won that round. But last night I brought my A-game. I was determined not to give in to the Mountain. It would be conquered. I actually yelled that at the mountain a couple times with my friend Betty. I was the last person up to the top and man was it worth it. We hiked up at night after the sun was completely down (remember a flash light next time Miranda). So when we reached the top you could see almost a 360 of the entire city... it was really amazing (and windy). But up to the north you could also see a wonderful Arizona dust storm rolling over that part of the city - lightening and everything. If it had not been so cloudy we probably would have seen more stars. It was truly worth the trek and I'm glad I didn't give up although for the last 20 minutes of the hike I don't think there was any blood reaching my legs.
The way down was way easier... aside from concentrating quite hard on not rolling my ankle and not missing a step. It was also made easier with good conversation with new friend Danny (who had a flashlight, thank you). We all went back to one of the guy's house and swam (my body gave up when I hit the livingroom couch, so swimming was not for me, but I watched and stayed in the activities). Didn't get home till 3am, but over all it was an amazingly conquering experience... who knows maybe I'll hike more. I'm sorry could any of you read that without laughing... yeah, me neither.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Dave & Buster's fun...

It is now tradition at my work to go to Dave & Buster's after a class graduation ceremony. It's every 10 weeks and it is now a the most look forward to event amongst the instructors. For those of you who don't know, Dave & Buster's is an arcade meets chucky cheese meets... well... a bar & restaurant. Well, all except the ball pit. It has also become tradition that the graduating students crash our party and we all hang out. It is really fun. Basically it's just awesome for my work friends and I to all get away from the office and have fun in a more casual environment. It was MOST needed after the week I've endured.

Friday, August 08, 2008

What next...?

You would not believe the week I've had. First off my job situation, which I thought was decided two weeks ago, turns out was not decided at all. There were serious communication issues, but it is all resolved now for the most part. If you want a fair dose of righteous anger, please ask the details.

I also spent the whole of last night after getting home from work in complete darkness. A huge storm rolled through Phoenix starting at around 8pm and @ 9:30 the lights went out in the apartment. I didn't get home until around 10:30, but the power was till out down the entire street. My roommate had jumped ship to her parents house before I got home, so I was alone. Didn't think much of the lights being off seeming as I was headed straight for bed. So I showered my flashlight and then stretched out in bed. Granted the apartment was warm for not having air conditioning for over an hour, but I didn't mind the temp... it wasn't that bad. I fell asleep around 11:30pm and fell asleep easily enought... BUT I woke up again at 1:45am completely awake a ready for the day (too bad it was still 5 hours of night-time away. Ugh. I could not fall back asleep... by then it was warmer, the power was still not on and with the complete lack of airflow and deafening silence I could not get comfortable... I also want to take this time to tell you that my bed squeaks. I dozed every few minutes or so into 30 seconds of "sleep" and during one of those "sleep moments" the power sprung to life all over my apartment. It was 3:30am and besides the lights coming on, the fire alarm beeped three times which seriously stopped my heart and took time off my life expectancy. So I was again more than awake... now out of fear. I was awake trying to get my internet to work (of course post power coming on), reading, stretching, staring at my air vent, praying, praying for sleep, etc... all this until 5AM!!! FINALLY I fell asleep until 7:30am when I got up for work.
Surprisingly, I am not tired yet... totally awake. Maybe I need to have insomnia more often.

That's all I got... between crazy work drama and power outage that is my life.